How many times have we said to ourselves, “If I knew then, what I know now, I would have made a different decision.” I bet that there is not a single person on this earth who cannot think of one situation in their life where this applies. We are human; and being human means that we are fallible. We all make mistakes that we wish we hadn’t made.
I can certainly relate to making mistakes. I make mistakes all the time; both big and small. One of the biggest mistakes I have made in my life is marrying a suspected sociopath who almost destroyed me in the end. This is one mistake that is not easy to forget. In fact, I often look back on my decision to marry Crazy and ask myself, “What was I thinking? I must have been crazy.” The truth is, I did not know then, what I know now and therefore, I have to remember to put this decision into perspective.
It is easy to look back on our decisions in life and critique them. We sometimes waste time evaluating why we did what we did or said what we said however; the truth of the matter is that most people do not set out to make mistakes. We are not sadomasochistic by nature; at least most of us are not anyway. We all wake up every morning and attempt to do our best by making choices that positively benefit ourselves and others.
The problem is that sometimes things do not work out as we had originally planned. Even though we strive to do our best, the unpredictable or unplanned can sometimes get in our way. We endeavour to evaluate the facts that we have available, we try to balance our “heads” and our “hearts”, we think about what our decisions will mean today, tomorrow and next week, and yet, sometimes we still make the wrong decisions. We do our best, and we make mistakes. We fail.
The good news is that there is a huge upside to failure that we often forget, and that is the valuable life lessons that we learn. Oftentimes our failures take us down bumpy roads that in hindsight become our most gratifying life experiences. We grow so much through our mistakes. The truth is we become stronger, tougher, wiser and more resilient after making mistakes. We often look back at ourselves with pride and say, “I can’t believe I was able to get through that mess.”
I think we have to be a bit easier on ourselves. We need to learn to embrace our mistakes, and be proud of how we have grown and developed as human beings. As my dad always told me, “Those who have never made a mistake, have never lived.” With that said, I encourage all of you to “live”.
Married to Crazy:
A Man's Story of Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and Recovery
Author: Clarkson Graham
Format: Kindle Edition
File Size: 1560 KB
Print Length: 165 pages
Publisher: Clarkson Press Company; 1 edition (Feb. 25 2013)
Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
About Married to Crazy:
Married to Crazy is how Clarkson Graham met and fell in love with Olga, the woman of his dreams. Their courtship, engagement, and eventual marriage followed. As their relationship progressed, Olga’s behavior became progressively more volatile and abusive. All along, Clarkson lived in the hope that he could “fix” her problems and live up to her perplexing expectations, until one appalling event drove him to his breaking point. Following therapy for post-traumatic stress disorder, Clarkson finally put his life back together again and was then determined to share his experience, and especially what he had learned, with other people—and particularly with other men—who might find themselves in a similar situation.
About Clarkson Graham:
“I am not a victim, nor will I be. I am a survivor. As a survivor, I was able to subjugate my feelings of weakness and powerlessness and eventually discover the desire, courage, and fortitude I needed to access the support and resources that were necessary to begin the recovery process. I can say that my continuing growth and development has been defined, in part, by my ability to triumph over a complicated life situation, and now, with this book, I am sharing my knowledge and insight as I continue on my healing journey.“
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Autographed copy of Married to Crazy
Autographed copy of Married to Crazy